Brocki-Land. The One & Only!

27 May 2014

I've softened on Brocki-Land, after blowing 24 Fr. here this week, having a pleasant chat with the cashier (methinks she is friendly to fellow English-speakers - a good price today!), and finding not one but 3 articles of clothing to buy! I would've bought a fourth, but I can't spend 5 Fr. on a tank top that's only worth maybe 2 Fr. at best. Spoiled by 'cheap' CARITAS pricing, I think! 

Down the ramp you go!

This really is the entrance! Unwelcoming, no?

If you've never been to Brocki-Land, you're in for a shock. Hopefully a pleasant one, but hey - you never know with this place! 

I'm not even sure how to begin this post, because there's just so much to say! So I'll try to direct you to my previous rantings on the subject, and stick to point-form for this post. Otherwise, you'll be reading a disjointed novel of ravings and rantings from the subterranean pit that is Brocki-land! 

RANDOM BROCKI-LAND FACTS:

• There are 2 locations in greater Zürich: one is downtown (Wiedikon area), and the other is right next to Dietikon in a suburb called Fahrweid.
• Prices are posted on laminated sheets on the walls or shelves, but in the end the cashier just glances over your stuff and asks for a round number. Which is usually higher than what you calculate yourself! Not all items will be listed on the price lists, either. It's a bit of a crap-shoot!
• The downtown location is the largest, and it's a disused underground parkade. I'm serious - there are shelves inside the parkade that form the store. To walk to the lower levels, you use the ramp designed for cars!  
• There are old people who hang out there all day. Old people with dementia, often. It's a strange environment.
• Brocki-land gets its stuff from excavating and cleaning out the homes of the recently deceased and the evicted, and probably from donations too (though I don't see why you'd donate here - it's not a charity operation!).
• They sell half-used bottles of old cleaners, and half-used rolls of toilet paper. I'm not joking.
• It's dank, dirty, dimly-lit and dusty. Count how many sneezes you hear while you're there! Not recommended for asthmatics!
• At the downtown location on 27 May 2014, there were 3 bins full of matches and matchbooks. 3 full bins! Fire hazard, what?!
• I've seen staff screaming at old people and waving brooms at them to keep them at bay of the restockers. Old people school like fish here, and they all set upon the poor staff with the carts of crates like koi on fish pellets. It's mayhem!
• When I return home (or visit a bathroom) after Brocki-land, I usually wash my hands three times. No, I don't have OCD - it just takes that many washes for the water to run clear! There's SO MUCH GRIME AND DIRT on everything there! It's astounding and really, really gross! (If you don't believe me, try it out - I have a white sink, and the brackish grey water coming off my hands after just 2 soap & suds is beyond belief!).
   

Brocki-land, in photos:

Use the chairs to sort your potential purchases, or to see the items in different (better?) lighting.

Oh, so cute and retro!!!

Not so lucky - there's a stain (which explains why this wasn't scooped up!)

Other fashionistas tend to stash their unwanted items at the ends of the racks near the mirrors. Check them out!

Clothes are sorted by colour, not size or gender.

All the older ladies can be found in the BEIGE section. I wish I was joking - I'm not.

If it's not priced on this list, it's 5 Fr. unless otherwise stated.

I bought my kitchen curtain from here! :) Love it!

Seriously retro curtains here - really funky!

People don't pick up after themselves.

I was excited to excavate some of these boxes, until I touched a banana hammock. It's UNDERWEAR, old people's used underwear! Urgh!

Books, books, so many books!

There was a sale (3 Fr.) on outwear that day. Busy!

The media room (entrance by the books, downstairs)

Planters and pots room (entrance near the main entrance)

Umbrellas and crutches room - inside the planters and pots room (above)

Best Buys (potentially, and in no particular order) at Brocki-land:

1. Bed linens, tablecloths, fabric in general.
2. Artwork (and I use the term 'art' loosely) - let's say pictures and paintings and leave it up to you to decide what's worth putting on your walls! 
3. Plates (6 for 3 Fr., or 0.50 each!) and kitchenware in general. If you are moving to Züri and you'll need plates, I recommend coming here before Ikea - you can usually get 3 or 4 plate sets (rarely a full set of six) for absolutely nothing. And some of them are really cool - vintage mint green plates and cups were there last time I went. I totally would have bought those if I needed plates! There's a whole bin of cookie cutters that I spent minutes picking through - they are REALLY cheap compared to new, and they're just as functional and in the same condition as they were when they were new!
4. Knitting needles and sewing supplies (near the till, on the partition facing the checkout)
5. Books! Holy crap are there books! English ones occasionally, too! But it's not sorted at all, so it will take awhile to browse! (There's also "Bücherland", which is open on Saturdays, a shed at the entrance to the underground Brocki-land. I've never been there on a Saturday, though).
6. Clothing (sometimes - it's a 5 Fr. flat rate, and you must dig, dig, dig for something worth that price tag!). On the day I last went, there was a special sale on 'mantels' and outerwear in general - 3 Fr. each! Midi- or tea-length (below knees) vintage skirts abound! There are so many, some of which are actually really, really high quality, too! TRY THEM ON - they look ugly on the hanger, but boy can they be surprising!
7. Seriously retro curtains, but also sheers and modern stuff as well.
8. Ties. Wow, are there ties galore!
9. Washcloths. Well, at Fahrweid, anyway where they are .50 each, and they make excellent cleaning rags for the home - durable, colourful and you can scrub with them until your arm comes off! Towels, in contrast, are comparatively overpriced and usually very worn indeed. Dishcloths (tea towels) are also very cheap here, 10 for 5 Fr. There's not many to be found, though. Finding 10 would be a challenge!

A woman sorts through the knitting needles

Matches, by the bin-full! :O

Cookie cutters! A great deal!

I'm guessing beer mats are also collectible?! If you're a collector, come here! Now!

Bad Buys (potentially, and in no particular order) at Brocki-land:

1. Some clothing (is that tank top worth 5 Fr.? Because that's what you'll pay, flat-rate! T-shirts are 2 for 5 Fr., apparently. I don't believe it until I get the total from the cashier). 
2. Used toothbrushes. Don't. Just don't. Also know that EVERYTHING has been thoroughly handled by browsing senior citizens with poor personal hygiene and who probably have some nasty bacteria on them like MRSA or antibiotic-resistent C. difficile. Seriously, they hang around all day and molest things, and then chuck them rudely back on their shelves. WASH EVERYTHING that comes from here very, very well! I saw some guy poking at and 'testing out' (with his hands) a used electric toothbrush for like 5 minutes before angrily throwing it back onto the shelf. Then he touched everything else on that shelf. Everything is tainted.
3. Mid-sized items, because '5 kleine' something (plastik, holz, etc.) will cost 5 Fr., but '1 grosse' something (same as above) will cost 5 Fr. alone. And what constitutes 'big' and 'small' is arbitrary and NOT in your favour, ever!
4. Most Furniture. Not only is it a bed-bug risk, but for some reason it seems overpriced at Brocki-land in comparison to the Heilsarmee, etc.!
5. Electronics and electrics. I doubt you can get a warranty (the best place for used appliances, hands-down is Arche Brockenhaus - they have warranties AND a repair centre!!! The Heilsarmee won't even do exchanges! I expect Brocki-land would be even less inclined to help you out!) 
6. Pens and notepads. I thought about grabbing a couple of pads of graph paper (why not?), when I saw the price tag and I realised that I could buy a new, clean pad of paper in pristine condition at the Migros for the same or, rather disturbingly, less. Pens were something like 10 for 2 Fr. or something, which again isn't a good deal - ink runs out and dries up, and the bin of writing instruments is grubby and gross. Some things are cheaper elsewhere, and pointedly, some things are NEW and cheaper elsewhere!
7. Pillows, stuffed animals, plush things. Ewww. I can't imagine you could ever clean them properly.
8. Underwear and socks. Not for me, anyway! And they're not even so cheap that they're tempting! One of those things that makes sense to buy new, for so many good reasons!!!
9. Kids clothes. I just had a quick look (downtown) and there wasn't much of it at all. Might be really picked over. I get the feeling Fahrweid is a little better for selection, but I don't have knirps so don't take that as gospel.

All the crazy old men are here, by the exit, buying knives (kitchen knives!) and small tools. Sometimes there's normal men buying things that I believe they'll actually use. But not typically! :S

Half-used, old bottles of cleaners... and coffee whitener! :O (This isn't safe to store all these different chemicals together like this! Such a fire trap!). Don't buy expired cleaners, or worse, coffee whitener from the 1970s!!!

The nice lady at the till. See the necklaces (by the man who kept saying "Who-Doo?" to himself for hours and hours)? Really hard to browse in this location, and not generally worth it (though I did score one necklace here once - the one the old lady took from my basket and put in her mouth. Sigh.).

You can wrap your breakables in newspaper at the end here. And there's some scuzzy plastic bags, too, but I would avoid using them if I were you! Bring a reusable bag with you! (IF YOU HAVE PLASTIC BAGS AT HOME YOU'D LIKE TO RECYCLE, BROCKI-LAND WANTS THEM!). :)

Clothes - 5 Fr. per piece. Not always worth that, though!

The breezeway from Steinstrasse to the underground entrance.

And here we go with the Pros and Cons and Strategies:


PROS:

• Potentially the cheapest place to buy _____ (fill in the blank).
• Selection is amazing... like, it actually induces amazement. Sometimes not for the right reasons!
• Crazy retro stuff that doesn't have the 'hipster mark-up' you'd see at the other brocki's (I'm pretty sure the other brocki's buy much of their stuff here, then resell it. It happened in my old city - I donated an item to a charity shop, only to see it being sold in a higher-end secondhand store a couple of weeks later. And it was definitely my old item, too. Aha!)
• The best place to stock your kitchen from (plates, glasses, crockery, cutlery, potato peelers, slotted spoons, fondue forks, cookie cutters, can openers, corkscrews, whisks and spatulas - if you need it for cooking, they have it. Not sure the frying pans or pots would be in nice enough condition, but you could get lucky!)
• Best place to find REALLY WEIRD AND SCARY THINGS. Huge entertainment factor!
• You can while away hours browsing in here, if you can handle the allergens and general filth (it gets to me after awhile, and I've got a pretty good tolerance!)
• They have shopping baskets!
• Constantly restocked (just give the poor restockers some room - the old people don't, and it really pisses them off!)

CONS:

• It's disgusting. Filthy and gross and has things like used toilet brushes and toilet seats that for sure have not been cleaned before putting out for sale.
• It's full of crazy people, mostly old but all sorts of people who aren't working in the middle of the day. You know that crazy man on the bus? Ever wonder what he's doing when he's not scaring people on transit? He's here, at Brocki-land, following you around. :S
• People will literally try to 'scoop' you on a find. If you are the only person digging in the plate shelves, for example, expect 4 ladies to suddenly appear and try to push you off your pile. Some will even snatch things out of your hand or your basket. (This isn't specific to this store, or even the country - I had these people following me around in Canada, too. I set a trap for one, just to prove I wasn't paranoid. I'll tell the story at the end of this post!).
• Some of the 'deals' actually aren't that good (see 'bad buys' for a few examples). Be sure to think hard about how much an item would cost new, or if it would be cheaper at another brocki, which can be the case!
• Prices can be arbitrary and get 'rounded up' at the till unexpectedly. Round numbers seem to always be the case, so expect a bigger bill than you calculated.
• Cash only (which might be for the best).
• No change rooms (though I can't imagine you'd want to use them if they had them here anyway!)
• Jewelry (beaded necklaces) are across from the till, where the cashier can keep an eye on them. Unfortunately, this means they are impossible to browse. I've tried - it doesn't work well!
• It's a nightmare for allergies - just listen to the sneezing!
• Old Italian men have a little club that hangs out in various parts of Brocki-land. They're noisy, and a little 'handsy' and rude to females, so watch out for that particular gang! :)
• There isn't a nearby toilet that I know of, which becomes a problem when you've been here a few hours! (If there is a Brocki-land toilet, I'm not sure I'd use it, no matter HOW desperate I was! I'd pee in the parking lot first!)

STRATEGIES:

• Use the chairs displayed along the 'ramp' to sort your finds and decide against those you can live without. It's one of the more open areas and there's usually loads of space to spread out.
• Try speaking English with the cash desk lady (a pleasant black women often with a braided crown of hair) - she's friendly enough, and she's seemed even friendlier when we've spoken in English! Worth a shot - I felt as though she was quite fair with my overall bill, 'more fair' than other times (was English the edge? Not sure).
• I'm not sure there's a best time to come, but I have found that 16:00-17:00 is a bit hairy: people get off of work, it becomes busier, and all the crazy old people cash out at this time. They budge and probably steal (pretty sure I've seen them stashing stuff in their pockets!), and then haggle with the poor lady at the till. This takes AGES to get through, and it's really annoying to bear witness to!
• Make friends with other thrifters in your demographic - while there's steep competition, especially for clothes, sometimes you might get a helping hand. ;) 
• For clothing: because there's no change rooms, fellow thrifters try clothes on over their thrifting uniforms by the mirrors at the ends of the racks. Which means oftentimes, the unwanted clothing is hung at the very ends of the racks next to the walls. Sometimes people are kind and restore the garments to their correct location, but many times not - have a look here. Also check the opposite ends (the beginning) of the racks for other goodies that didn't fit someone that they would have you see. :) Thrifting karma!
• Watch your basket (and purse) carefully - there are some people here (mostly old ones) who are tending towards kleptomania, or who are just downright unethical (hey, brain-damage from dementia or whatever can mean that people lose all sorts of necessary social faculties - no judgment from me, just the hard facts! Old people steal, so be cautious!).
• Make sure you hit up the Fahrweid location at least once! If you're in Dietikon, it's a longish (but pleasant) walk from the bahnhof (or you can catch a bus, though it's still a walk from the nearest stop). Note that there's no street address for it, just a street... it's in an industrial park. I walked all over Fahrweid once trying to find it. I'll post on it when I return there. :)

I think that's about it that I can say! You really have to visit this place once and form your own opinions on its virtues and vices and what (if anything) it's good for!

Upstairs, on street-level, is the Brocki-land Antique shop. Worth a gander, if only you want to see the difference in price! 

This model steam engine cost 180 Fr. There were two of them in the store, so perhaps that's asking too much?!

450 Fr. for the complete set. Must be a famous designer?!

Well, that's my blog post on Brocki-land. I hope it was enlightening. You really need to see it to appreciate it for what it is - a crazy, filthy, infamous secondhand shop! A continual fleamarket in a dank old parkade!

Best of luck at Brocki-land - I hope you have a positive and entertaining experience! :)

TiZ

My recent haul from Brocki-land, with a total bill of 24 Fr.:

Cookie cutters! Accidentally got two crosses in my haste!

Coolest, made in W. Germany syrup pourer ever!

I'm totally going to fill this with mojito! :D

Smoked glass, polka dots, gold rim - vintage love!

More fabric for sewing projects, courtesy pillowcases! 5 for 5 Fr. (1 Fr. each, but 2 Fr. each at Fahrweid)

Great midi-length skirt for fall! Can't believe it!

Another great midi-/tea-length skirt for fall!

Black mini-skirt. Can't go wrong. ;) It's a staple!

And as promised, the story of the trap I set for that old lady who was following me around the store, trying to 'scoop' anything I found for herself (this was in Canada, to be clear):

I was at a Salvation Army thrift store, doing the rounds, and I had this 'shadow' in the form of an older lady (not super elderly, but let's say late 60's or so) who was reaching over me to take something on the shelf I was browsing just often enough that I became frustrated and decided to give her the slip.

Being able to walk much faster, I'd practically run to the other end of the store and browse there, uninterrupted, until she caught up. This happened a few times, irrespective of the section I was in. I started to wonder if I was paranoid, but soon it became clear that she was tracking me.

I think I glared at her a few times, hoping she'd take the hint and f-off, but of course she didn't.

So I decided to screw with her. I picked up the weirdest, stupidest thing I could find, stared at it, examined it, put it into my basket, walked forward a few steps, then returned the item to its original location as if I had at the last minute decided against it. I did this a few times, always to the last thing I'd ever bother looking at if I was shopping. Every time, she'd run (and I mean run!) to the item and snatch it up. Usually she'd slam it back onto the shelf and then come running to the more recent item I had 'examined' and snatch that up, too.

Then I found this new, in-package set of the ugliest photo frames (shaped like cartoon, smiling bugs - ladybugs, butterflies, etc.), obviously meant for children (or more likely, grandchildren's) photos. It was the biggest piece of crap ever. It was going to prove a point for me. And I looked over it, turned it and read every description, hesitated in putting in my basket, stood there, put it back, picked it up again, scratched my head - basically, I put on a show. A big show. A show to suggest that I was really torn about leaving it behind.

Then I walked away.

That stupid shadow of mine came running up to me elsewhere in the store, with the item in hand, and LOUDLY demanded that I tell her what was so good about it.

I was very cold to her and said I don't appreciate being followed while I shop, and I'm not discussing any item in the store with her. She still demanded, rudely, that I explain what I wanted with it, not in a friendly manner from the outset.

I just left the store then and there.

So I'm not sure I scored a victory, but I did prove to myself that I wasn't being paranoid about this woman following me and making my shopping experience positively unbearable. What the heck she was doing there herself is something I often wonder at - maybe it's some sort of dementia that makes people greedy for bargains to the point of this wild and downright disturbing behaviour!

I can't say I'd recommend the same course of action, but if you want a laugh at the expense of someone who has really started to annoy you, I suggest this game. At least it will reassure you that you're not being paranoid!